The new vehicle, which will average about 40-50 miles per gallon (except when the Batchute is employed), will make turbine engines a thing of the past. Wayne Enterprises inventor and Chairman Lucius Fox told reporters Wednesday the new Batmobile will offer a “stealth-like” quality when the engine is off, allowing the Dynamic Duo to slowly creep up on criminals. Fox suggested the newest version of the famed vehicle goes from 0-60 miles per hour in about two minutes.However, Wayne Enterprises CEO Bruce Wayne aggressively denied Batman would make all his Bat-gadgets environmentally friendly.
“It’s not like Batman is going to ditch the aerosol-based Batmace anytime soon,” Wayne said. “When you’re fighting for your life, you don’t have time to worry if a can of mace is going to work. Some of these guys weigh over 300 pounds, and Batman is not Superman. You need to mace, disarm and tie goons up real quick.”
Wayne added, “From my understanding of the crime-fighting process, that is.”
When asked if Batman would use the hybrid Batmobile exclusively or continue driving the stealth Hummer most recently seen saving Katie Holmes’ life, Wayne became somewhat disgruntled.
“It’s a Batmobile, not a Hummer, and damn straight he’ll keep it,” Wayne corrected reporters on Wednesday. “Listen, change is good, but let’s not go crazy. Batman is Batman because criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, and no two-bit thug I know ever shit his pants because a Prius is coasting down the road. Batman is not a pussy.
“Besides, Robin made Batman do the hybrid-vehicle because he said it was cutting edge, plus his butler pointed out the tax breaks are pretty good. Uh, at least, that’s what I hear.”From most accounts, Wayne’s analysis proved to be correct, as penguins and mad hatters laughed city-wide over the announcement. When reached for comment at Arkham Asylum, the Joker wondered if Batman had to plug the Batmobile in every night. When told a hybrid is a gas-electric engine model that requires no recharge, the Joker then added he plans on adding urine to it the next time he sees the car, paraphrasing.
However, not all of Gotham’s criminals laughed at the new plan. Two-Face held a press-conference Thursday afternoon to announce his decision whether or not to support Batman, in his ecologically-sound crime fighting quest, via coin flip. When the silver dollar came up heads, Two-Face came out in favor of the new Batmobile, and then announced he will be using the Canadian two-dollar coin from now on in honor of all the money Batman will save on gas.
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