Baby, you can't drive my car

So yesterday I was listening to Rush Limbaugh, who I like to think of as our dark lord and savior, and “America's Anchorman” opened my eyes to the media manipulation that's going on right in front of us. While the drive-by media like to talk about how many people are dying in Iraq on a daily basis, their “liberal bias” fails to mention another amazing statistic that has absolutely nothing to do with the Iraqi war, but it is a death count that far outpaces what's going on in the Middle East. I'm talking about highway deaths.

“Now, the number of highway deaths in this country, 43,443 in 2005, is 40 to 50 times our troop losses in Iraq and Afghanistan combined (editor-about 3,100). Well, ten or 20 times at least.”

Yes, now we're getting somewhere. There's a few thousand dead soldiers in Iraq. But there are tens of thousands dead on our nation's highways! It's pretty much the same thing! But one death count is a lot higher! But do you hear that on CNN? Hell, no, you don't! If this were an African country, those liberal commie pinkos would be marching on GWB's vacation ranch!

Wait a minute. Thousands dead … a subjective term to define a conflict of which there can be no conclusive winner … Folks, I think we should declare War on Driving. Those murdering weapons of mass destruction have had their free ride long enough. There should even be a color coded chart to help us out, letting us know when is a good time to be on or off the streets.



So remember America, while our liberal media shows their obvious bias by reporting on things like “Dozens dead in Iraqi bombings today” or “vice president shoots man in face,” remember who's doing the real killing.