Mailing list fun

I don't necessarily agree with all the positions my employer takes, but I believe as an organization, they generally mean well. I'm certainly always up for a well-mannered (even mild-mannered!) debate about the various issues they advocate.

So being an employee of this particular organization, I often get put on random e-mail lists. After some time (like, a day) you begin to realize that the people that take the time to search the Web for whatever related e-mail address they can find to add to their list are not really the type of people up for any debate on any subject. There's God's Law and then there's everything else you're going to hell for. It's not really spam ... after all, I tried to tell my mailbox it is spam, but it keeps coming so it must not be spam, I guess. It's really grassroots advocacy ... they find topics and issues they're passionate about and write about it to the groups they assume would sympathize with them.

But every once in a while, they put the wrong person's e-mail address on there who thinks they're total loonies. Which would be me.

Take Michael F. Brennan for example. Rare is the day I come into work and not find at least a couple e-mails from him and his particular organization, the Anti-Fascism Americans Group. Michael is from the Rochester area, I believe, given the number of e-mails I get from him that link articles from the Rochester paper. But the last outrage that has his panties in a bunch is the transgender teacher from Batavia having the unmitigated gall to want to keep her (his?) job. Now, let's ignore the fact that if I changed genders over the summer, working in a high school environment would not make my top five list of "Jobs that would Improve My Self-Esteem," but if that's the road the teacher wants to go down, good luck with it.

Anyway, this afternoon I received another e-mail from Michael and his group, the Anti-Fascism Americans Group, which, in case you haven't figured out, is also called A-FAG. Yeah, I didn't make that up. The subject heading was PHOTOS OPPOSING FASCISTS. Which strikes me as odd, you know, because photos can show many things, but they really can't oppose fascists. People can oppose fascists. I think even groups can oppose fascists. But certainly not photos. How will they stand up for themselves? They have no voices! I mean, yeah, photos can be used as an art form to say things to people, but you can't put a phone up to a photo and expect a thrilling conversation on the other side. It's insane!

Plus fascists, being fascists and all, tend to bring down the hammer on their opponents. How could photos survive that? Sometimes, fascists will even frame their enemies! Sounds like photos are being set up for just that. What kind of fight for freedom is that?

Yes, this is what I often think when I read subject lines like that. It's the kind of thing that only encourages me to open up the message to see if there's more fun to be had.

Inside the message are four pictures with the note: "Here's a few pics. I need to adjust the color on all the photos." Here's the first one:



Now, the first thing I thought of when I saw that photo was, "Yes, the color definitely needs to be adjusted. Needs less crazy."

The other thing I'm thinking is that this guy obviously had a great sign to get himself on TV, but didn't really think about what the sign says about him. There's no hint that "A-FAG" is only an acronym, just that it's two words and shouldn't be hyphenated (I looked it up). So he's essentially saying to the world, "I'm a homosexual." Hey, if he is, cool, because there's no better way to come out than on the local news. Second and third lines: "opposes fascism." Well, duh. Who doesn't oppose fascism (besides photos)? And I'd imagine the gay and lesbian community have a lot to lose under fascist rule, so they'd be the first in line against it. A fag opposes fascism! Yes, it makes sense!

The third thing about the photo I thought of was, "Shit, Spencer's whipping McFarland's ass."

Unfortunately, e-mails prior to this reveal that A-FAG are actually against the school district for not allow parents to transfer their children out of the transgender teacher's class. Understandably, an out-of-context photo may strike the wrong impression of the group's statement here, so it's a good there's a lot of e-mail room to explain it to people. Except they don't. There's three other photos, but they all kinda suck (again, needs color adjustment apparently). And that's it. All we got is "A fag opposes fascism." And who would disagree with that? Nazis, that's who.

While I was writing this, I got another e-mail from Michael: "FASCIST UPDATE" YES! Perhaps it will contain more content to sell their argument, or at the very least, give me an update on fascists worldwide so I can be on the lookout. But no, it's the exact same e-mail as before. The photos still need color adjustment. Mike, enough with the foreplay.

A third e-mail arrives, all in the span of 15 minutes. UPDATE ON FASCIST OPPOSITION. Don't tease me, Brennan. Oh, look, the photos have finally been color adjusted. Still too much crazy, but it's a start! But it's all of the same dude with his "A-FAG OPPOSES FASCISM." It's just the one guy, from all appearances. Listen, if I want an update on fascist opposition, there should be at least two people, you know, or you're just wasting my time.

By the way, the mission statement of A-FAG is "That the bureaucrats know we know that they know we know." Which I read three times fast, and it blew my mind. I may need a Pepsi.