JLB Assemble!

I'm linking to this post Elly posted today for several reasons. First of all, I'm a big fan of the city's mansions. I had my wedding reception in one, and I've been to events at several others, and they're magnificent. I've never been to an event or invited to the Miller Mansion, but I'd like to. How do you get on the list? I've never been to Tally Ho (really!), nor do I make a lot of money, so I suspect my options for getting on the guest list are somewhat limited. I need to find some rich friends that would get married there, perhaps.

Anyhoo, any project that spruces up Buffalo's best houses and mansions is good news by me, so I'm excited to see what everybody comes up with.

The second reason I linked to the article is, quite frankly, less inspiring. Since I am not a woman, I cannot join the Junior League of Buffalo, but they seem to do fine work. Really, I'm amused by the name. Specifically, the initials, as it reminds me of this.

What can I say? I’ve read a lot of comic books in my time. A lot.

unity does not mean "shut up while we do this"

So, lots of people on the news are talking about that Bill Clinton interview, and to hear these anchors say it, our former president lost his mind after Fox News reporter Chris Wallace asked, "Why didn't you do more to catch Bin Laden." He's "combative." He's "defensive." Whatever you got to do to downplay the actual content of the interview.

Say what you want, Clinton makes several great points, including why Fox News isn't asking this very same question of the Bush administration, the same group of people that didn't even mention the guy in public for two years. But apparently even a former president of the United States can't call out Fox News for being decisively pro-Bush. Even Rush Limbaugh was working himself up into a frothy rage, trying to remember the last time any member of an administration got a little pushy with an interviewer. He couldn't come up with any, so I'd like to help him.



And now I'm reading over the wire that Condi Rice is going after Clinton for the remarks he made. Really? Is this the same woman that got the memo in August 2001 that bin Laden was going to attack us soon and did nothing? I'm sure the bin Laden trail is red hot now, Condi, considering the United States intelligence community cannot confirm or deny the report that the dude who planned the worst terrorist attack in our country's history may have died of natural causes.

Our intelligence community has to wait for bin Laden to make another videotape to find out if he's alive or not. That's how close they are to finding him. Read that last bit over again, lather it up, rinse and repeat. I'm so glad our country is safer with these people in charge.

Also, while I'm feeling particularly liberal today, Jerry Falwell, if you really want to compare elected leaders, flesh-and-blood humans mind you, to Satan himself, I think you're a bit late to that party.

31

Yep.

yay hyperbole

I hope the Bills aren't making the same mistake as the local media in totally underestimating the Jets. I've seen bits and pieces of the Jets game this year, and they're not awful. They're a team that was expected to be terrible, and kinda surprised people a bit when they played two competitive games, one of which was a loss to the Patriots. Yeah, that sounds familiar, doesn't it?

The local sports scene, however, seems to be of two minds on the subject: Bills lose, "When is it going to get better?" Bills win: "We can make the playoffs!" If WGR and broadcast reporters had a superpower for expecations, it would be lightning-fast mood swings.

The Bills looked better than I thought they would in the past two games, but there were a couple moments when I cringed. I hope they beat the Jets, they have the tools to beat the Jets, but they haven't beaten the Jets yet. Nor have they beaten the Vikings next week. They're not 3-1 yet, folks.

"you can't fight city hall"

In the words of Lance Storm, if I could be serious for a moment ...

I was reading this article by Brian Meyer in today's Buffalo News, and I can't help but be bewildered about why the deputy mayor thinks he would have a better idea of building security than the people who work in building security. Well, if you do think that Casey's just a control freak and a political animal, then it would explain a lot, but those are only allegations. We don't want to smear anybody with an unfair reputation here at Mild-Mannered Blog headquarters. I did, however, take that story in concert with the announcement this week that Mayor Byron Brown wants to assert more control over which public workers are talking to the press.

The sense I get from the Brown administration is that they really want to make the city a better place to live, at least compared to Masiello, who was governing by the seat of his pants. The negotiating stance with the Seneca Casino and the intent apply more pressure to the city's gangs are but two of the examples of his strength here. However, I also see a strong desire (perhaps driven by Steve Casey, Brown's right hand man) to clamp down the controls of the city so the Brown administration, or those that subscribe to it, will be in power for a very, very long time. That contradiction (genuine intent to help, but also making sure you're around for a while) is what fascinates and annoys me about American politics.

In a related matter, all this does is make me love HBO's "The Wire" even more. I'm a big advocate of this program, and I really think if "New Buffalo" is serious about transforming this great city, they really, really need to watch this show. Season one was a long-form televised crime novel about the police department's investigation into drug dealers in Baltimore’s lower-income areas, but since then, it has incorporated unions, city politics and the school system into the show, basically showing how every institution has an impact on each other and how we live. It's become a show about the dark underbelly of the American dream, the places nobody likes to think or talk about. It's a show about people who work within, rebel against and are crushed by "the system." The brilliance of the show is that it shows how everybody is taught that battling "the system," be it in city hall or a street corner, results in losing. That's not a cheery thought, I know, but it also shows that just because we're taught "You can't fight city hall," doesn't mean we have to believe it or live that way. I've covered local municipalities for almost a decade now, and I'm constantly amazed on how accurate "The Wire" feels. At times, it's incredibly shocking, and provokes the kind of anger you get from watching "When the Levees Broke" or "Flipped." Season four just started, and there's a lot of press about how it's the best show on television. That's a lot of hype to live up to, and I'm obviously hyping this a lot right now. I will say this about "The Wire," though: There is not a more challenging and complex television program right now that so accurately captures what it's like to be living in America, right here, right now. In fact, nothing even comes close.

holy efficiency!

GOTHAM CITY – WHAM! BIFF! POW! And most definitely ZOOM, after Wayne Enterprises announced it has developed the first ever hybrid Batmobile for Gotham’s greatest masked crimefighter, the Batman.

The new vehicle, which will average about 40-50 miles per gallon (except when the Batchute is employed), will make turbine engines a thing of the past. Wayne Enterprises inventor and Chairman Lucius Fox told reporters Wednesday the new Batmobile will offer a “stealth-like” quality when the engine is off, allowing the Dynamic Duo to slowly creep up on criminals. Fox suggested the newest version of the famed vehicle goes from 0-60 miles per hour in about two minutes.

However, Wayne Enterprises CEO Bruce Wayne aggressively denied Batman would make all his Bat-gadgets environmentally friendly.

“It’s not like Batman is going to ditch the aerosol-based Batmace anytime soon,” Wayne said. “When you’re fighting for your life, you don’t have time to worry if a can of mace is going to work. Some of these guys weigh over 300 pounds, and Batman is not Superman. You need to mace, disarm and tie goons up real quick.”

Wayne added, “From my understanding of the crime-fighting process, that is.”

When asked if Batman would use the hybrid Batmobile exclusively or continue driving the stealth Hummer most recently seen saving Katie Holmes’ life, Wayne became somewhat disgruntled.

“It’s a Batmobile, not a Hummer, and damn straight he’ll keep it,” Wayne corrected reporters on Wednesday. “Listen, change is good, but let’s not go crazy. Batman is Batman because criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, and no two-bit thug I know ever shit his pants because a Prius is coasting down the road. Batman is not a pussy.

“Besides, Robin made Batman do the hybrid-vehicle because he said it was cutting edge, plus his butler pointed out the tax breaks are pretty good. Uh, at least, that’s what I hear.”

From most accounts, Wayne’s analysis proved to be correct, as penguins and mad hatters laughed city-wide over the announcement. When reached for comment at Arkham Asylum, the Joker wondered if Batman had to plug the Batmobile in every night. When told a hybrid is a gas-electric engine model that requires no recharge, the Joker then added he plans on adding urine to it the next time he sees the car, paraphrasing.

However, not all of Gotham’s criminals laughed at the new plan. Two-Face held a press-conference Thursday afternoon to announce his decision whether or not to support Batman, in his ecologically-sound crime fighting quest, via coin flip. When the silver dollar came up heads, Two-Face came out in favor of the new Batmobile, and then announced he will be using the Canadian two-dollar coin from now on in honor of all the money Batman will save on gas.

the fourteenth-reincarnated deity at UB

In case you've been trapped under a large object for the past few days (and if you were, why would you be surfing the Web? Call for help, damnit!), the Dalai Lama rolled into town yesterday on his party bus for a few days at UB.

I went to yesterday's interfaith service, which was nice but fairly unorganized. The Lama, though - you gotta hand it to the guy, he took it all in stride. After some of the readings were screwed up, he gets up to the podium and says, "There's so much precision (in these things), but sometimes a little difficulty is good."

Also, "Angels come from different directions to bless us ... or something like that." That is one laid-back guy.

Apparently it applies to his schedule too. Us press people like to gather around and gossip like old hens before the event, and rumor has it that the Lama is the kind of guy scheduled to give an address that could go anywhere from 10 minutes to six hours, depending on whatever mood he's in. And everybody else just rolls with it. So it's either "Cancel the rest of my day because I'm going to continue talking with these fine people right here" or "I'm thinking of peanut butter ... it's time to go."

So what's the first thing that hits me as I hear about the Lama making his days up by the seat of his spiritually-illuminated pants? That dude sure ain't married.

let the wookie win

Man, I didn't know Chewie and Lando were that tight.

Crap

You know how every once in a while you have a hankering for some kind of food? Ice cream, pizza, a burger from Fuddrucker's?

Well, this morning I woke up like that. I totally picked the wrong day to want a Steak in the Grass, I tell ya.

Nothing's going to stop us now

So we're starting to track down candidate names and address here at work, and I've been assigned to find out where Congressman Brian Higgins' opponent, Republican Michael McHale, mchails from. Now, I realize there have been reports that the dude recently declared bankrupcy and Steve McQueen'ed somebody who may or may not be related to Dennis Gorski, but you'd never know it from the visual dazzle that is his campaign Web site.

Oh, wait, that's right, he doesn't actually have one, or at least one anybody knows the address to. One would think that in a era of Google, running a campaign for a federal congressional district would at least require one silly home page from geocities.com or something, but perhaps McHale is playing a deeper game than we all realize. Yes, sir, it's a play right out of Decision 1980, and I suspect it's going to be a long two months.

I tried calling the local Republican headquarters office for an address for McHale, but they don't have one either. "However, feel free to send it here and we'll be sure he gets it." Man, you can smell the success on this guy, yeah?

In other news, John Donnelly, Congresswoman Louise Slaughter's archfoe come November, has a Web site and a blog. He even wished the congresswoman a happy birthday. And no, it wasn't followed with any "cut the cake and run" advice from Donnelly for the longtime Democrat. Though it would have been awesome if he did.

Mailing list fun

I don't necessarily agree with all the positions my employer takes, but I believe as an organization, they generally mean well. I'm certainly always up for a well-mannered (even mild-mannered!) debate about the various issues they advocate.

So being an employee of this particular organization, I often get put on random e-mail lists. After some time (like, a day) you begin to realize that the people that take the time to search the Web for whatever related e-mail address they can find to add to their list are not really the type of people up for any debate on any subject. There's God's Law and then there's everything else you're going to hell for. It's not really spam ... after all, I tried to tell my mailbox it is spam, but it keeps coming so it must not be spam, I guess. It's really grassroots advocacy ... they find topics and issues they're passionate about and write about it to the groups they assume would sympathize with them.

But every once in a while, they put the wrong person's e-mail address on there who thinks they're total loonies. Which would be me.

Take Michael F. Brennan for example. Rare is the day I come into work and not find at least a couple e-mails from him and his particular organization, the Anti-Fascism Americans Group. Michael is from the Rochester area, I believe, given the number of e-mails I get from him that link articles from the Rochester paper. But the last outrage that has his panties in a bunch is the transgender teacher from Batavia having the unmitigated gall to want to keep her (his?) job. Now, let's ignore the fact that if I changed genders over the summer, working in a high school environment would not make my top five list of "Jobs that would Improve My Self-Esteem," but if that's the road the teacher wants to go down, good luck with it.

Anyway, this afternoon I received another e-mail from Michael and his group, the Anti-Fascism Americans Group, which, in case you haven't figured out, is also called A-FAG. Yeah, I didn't make that up. The subject heading was PHOTOS OPPOSING FASCISTS. Which strikes me as odd, you know, because photos can show many things, but they really can't oppose fascists. People can oppose fascists. I think even groups can oppose fascists. But certainly not photos. How will they stand up for themselves? They have no voices! I mean, yeah, photos can be used as an art form to say things to people, but you can't put a phone up to a photo and expect a thrilling conversation on the other side. It's insane!

Plus fascists, being fascists and all, tend to bring down the hammer on their opponents. How could photos survive that? Sometimes, fascists will even frame their enemies! Sounds like photos are being set up for just that. What kind of fight for freedom is that?

Yes, this is what I often think when I read subject lines like that. It's the kind of thing that only encourages me to open up the message to see if there's more fun to be had.

Inside the message are four pictures with the note: "Here's a few pics. I need to adjust the color on all the photos." Here's the first one:



Now, the first thing I thought of when I saw that photo was, "Yes, the color definitely needs to be adjusted. Needs less crazy."

The other thing I'm thinking is that this guy obviously had a great sign to get himself on TV, but didn't really think about what the sign says about him. There's no hint that "A-FAG" is only an acronym, just that it's two words and shouldn't be hyphenated (I looked it up). So he's essentially saying to the world, "I'm a homosexual." Hey, if he is, cool, because there's no better way to come out than on the local news. Second and third lines: "opposes fascism." Well, duh. Who doesn't oppose fascism (besides photos)? And I'd imagine the gay and lesbian community have a lot to lose under fascist rule, so they'd be the first in line against it. A fag opposes fascism! Yes, it makes sense!

The third thing about the photo I thought of was, "Shit, Spencer's whipping McFarland's ass."

Unfortunately, e-mails prior to this reveal that A-FAG are actually against the school district for not allow parents to transfer their children out of the transgender teacher's class. Understandably, an out-of-context photo may strike the wrong impression of the group's statement here, so it's a good there's a lot of e-mail room to explain it to people. Except they don't. There's three other photos, but they all kinda suck (again, needs color adjustment apparently). And that's it. All we got is "A fag opposes fascism." And who would disagree with that? Nazis, that's who.

While I was writing this, I got another e-mail from Michael: "FASCIST UPDATE" YES! Perhaps it will contain more content to sell their argument, or at the very least, give me an update on fascists worldwide so I can be on the lookout. But no, it's the exact same e-mail as before. The photos still need color adjustment. Mike, enough with the foreplay.

A third e-mail arrives, all in the span of 15 minutes. UPDATE ON FASCIST OPPOSITION. Don't tease me, Brennan. Oh, look, the photos have finally been color adjusted. Still too much crazy, but it's a start! But it's all of the same dude with his "A-FAG OPPOSES FASCISM." It's just the one guy, from all appearances. Listen, if I want an update on fascist opposition, there should be at least two people, you know, or you're just wasting my time.

By the way, the mission statement of A-FAG is "That the bureaucrats know we know that they know we know." Which I read three times fast, and it blew my mind. I may need a Pepsi.

Random aside of the day

You ever notice how the people that crow the most about the Bible are the ones that conveniently forget the vast majority of the book is about being kind to your fellow man and helping the poor?

Where we been and where we're going

The president is supposed to speak tomorrow about 9/11. It may be a classy tribute, but knowing how the Bush administration works, he will probably allude to anybody who doesn't back him 100 percent as people who "cut and run," "appease Nazis," or whatever stupid catchphrase they come up with this week to demonize their opponents. Just last week, the president surrounded himself with the families of 9/11 victims as he took another step towards secret trials and torture as official U.S. policy. I wonder what the hell has happened?

Midterm elections are a few short weeks from now, and I'm pretty angry at the Federal Government right now. My problems with the current administration ebb and flow like the tide, with emotions ranging from righteous indignation to laughter, simply because I cannot believe some of the things that has come out of the White House. But I'm pretty frustrated with the national Democratic Party, most of whom offer nothing but knee-jerk reactions to administration policy. As bad as the president is, John Kerry proved that you need something more than "I'm not Bush" to inspire the American people. You need to stand for something with a clear message, and in a world ... hell, this nation ... with so much injustice going on, it's a moral crime that you can't find something to stand on.

For all those who want to stay the course in Iraq, know that in four short years, the Taliban is regaining power in Afghanistan, killing more than a 100 U.S. and NATO troops this year, and 92 percent of the world's Opium supply comes from this country. With the White House turning a blind eye, is this what you have in mind for Iraq?

For all those that believe the people of this country are safer and will protect us, remember how slow the administration was in responding to Hurricane Katrina, and remember the dead bodies that littered the streets of one of our nation's biggest cities for weeks.

For all those who remember the name Osama bin Laden, remember that up until this past week, President Bush rarely mentioned him for four years.

The vice president was on Meet the Press today. Tim Russert grilled him pretty hard, but he more or less kept saying he "doesn't buy" news reports and public hearing, and everything is going exactly according to their plan. Yeah.

Hardass McShootey captured

Phillips, a 44-year-old career thief who has spent 20 of the past 23 years in state prison, was taken to a jail in Buffalo and was to be arraigned Saturday morning on a federal charge of unlawful flight to avoid prosecution. If I spent most of my adult life in prison, wouldn't that make me a career prisoner?

I was also surprised to find that, according to various CNN stations, Phillips went from "Bucky" to "Buck" to make him seem more dangerous. I love news management. Why didn't we go with Ralph "Hardass McShootey" Phillips while we're at it?

Two Months/Eight Months

Whenever you get a 'fly so fast it reverses time' gadget on your belt, let me know

How SUPERMAN THE MOVIE should have ended:

Iraqublican

So Donald Rumsfeld gets up on his soapbox last week and says anybody that dares criticize the Bush administration for their handling of the Iraqi occupation is like a Nazi appeaser. I'm so glad that's settled, because if I'm a Nazi appeaserer, I wonder what that makes this guy:



Does anybody even know exactly what we're supposed to be doing in Iraq now? Is it to battle terrorists in a new kind of mobile war that requires us to be stationary for the most part? Or is it to develop a democratic country in the Middle East? Because I'm thinking it's not "Mission Accomplished" until Bobby Joe can take the wife and kids over there for a family vacation and eat the same stupid shit they eat in this country, like Applebee's, the Olive Garden and McDonald's. Do you know what they call a quarterpounder in Iraq? Me neither.

Wednesday's Best

Top Ten Sexual Euphemisms (Fantasy Football Edition)

10. Playing keep away
9. Dropping the reserves
8. Trading tight ends
7. Fingering the waiver list
6. Praying Johnson will come big for you
5. Benching the receiver
4. Grabbing Bush in the second round
3. Modding my helmet
2. Inserting a player in the flex position
1. Catching T.O.

A love letter ...

Dear Bass Pro-

What’s up? I know it’s been a while, but I was looking at some old photos the other day, and I thought of you. It may be kinda weird to call somebody up out of the blue, but why does it have to be weird? We used to be friends, a long time ago, and whatever happened shouldn’t stop us from staying in touch with each other.

Remember the first time we went out together? We walked along the waterfront, and I pointed out the majestic waters of Lake Erie through the pillars of the Skyway. That was when you said, “Hey, this would be a great place to sell stuff to professional bassmasters!” That’s when I knew it was love at first sight. I don’t know what you were thinking, but I was dreaming of a life with you, imagining all the additional revenue that would have come from people eating in our restaurants and spending nights in our hotels, all because people would come in from all over the country to shop in a fishing store. Perhaps I misread the gleam in your eye, but I could swear you thought the same thoughts, imaging what a tremendous draw it would be when you put those tackle boxes on sale.

Oh, I remember that night fondly, and as we walked along the way, we had our first very special moment. You looked into my eyes, and I touched your arm as we shared our first non-binding memorandum of intent. I don’t know about you, but my socks were on fire. Don’t get me wrong, baby, I’ve had a lot of non-binding MOIs in my life. I’ve played the field, that’s for sure. But there was something special between you and I that night.

I thought it went so well, but when I called you to go out again, you always said you were busy. I tried to be understanding at the time, but to be honest, I didn’t get it. Were we on different worlds? Was it me? It wasn’t before long you let my calls go directly to voice mail. I thought you might have been busy, but when I saw that you were out with that tramp Memphis, my heart was broken.

Look, maybe you didn’t care for the time I briefly flirted with my ex-girlfriend, Seneca Casino, for a few weeks. Now there was a relationship that went horribly wrong the first time, but when you stopped returning my calls, she came around again. I have to admit, I was lonely, and possibly desperate. Perhaps it was the Labatt Blue talking. But I soon came to my senses when she was all like, “Fulton Street” this and “infrastructure” that. Look, I’m not into a girl that’s high maintenance. That’s why I thought you and I were so perfect for each other.

Maybe this is the wrong idea, but I thought maybe if I tried again, we can work things out. Look, I know you’ve been out with a bunch of other guys … it’s all over the papers over here. But I still think we can make it. The next time I see you, I’d love to get in a non-binding situation again, like our first date.

Actually, I’m not being honest with you. I like non-binding, but I want to take the next step. I want to bind you, baby. I want to bind you all night long. Maybe that’s a little forward, but I don’t care. I want things to go back to the way they used to be, and I’ll do whatever it takes. I heard the other guys say that you’re a little frisky, and that’s why I sent you all those public funds and tax incentives. But I still couldn’t get you to call me back. Heck, at this point, I’ll even bring down the walls of the Aud, where we shared our first date, because you’ve brought down the walls around my heart.

I know some people will think all of this is desperate, but not you, because you and I shared something special together for one night two years ago. I know you can see it in my eyes … it’s love baby, and all you have to do is pick up the phone.

Or, if that doesn’t work for you, maybe we can still be friends …

-Buffalo

Things that keep me occupied August Edition

What I'm Watching: Daily Show, Colbert Report, Deadwood, Entourage, Ultimate Fighter 4, Veronica Mars Season One

What I'm Reading: The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway, Showcase Presents Superman Vol. 2 TP, Hard Times by Charles Dickens, Wisdom of Our Fathers by Tim Russert, Superman vs. Lex Luthor TP

Movies Recently Seen: Snakes on a Plane, Little Miss Sunshine, World Trade Center, The Magnificant Ambersons, Shaft (original!), Double Indemnity, Firewall

Recent iTunes downloads: "Enter Sandman" by Metallica, "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol, entire "It's Not Funny" album by David Cross, "Bad Boy for Life" by P. Diddy, "Nothin' but a G Thang" by Dr. Dre, "I Want You Back" by the Jackson Five, "Where the Streets Have No Name (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You)" by Pet Shop Boys

Wrestlin': ROH Dragon's Gate Challenge, ROH Supercard of Honor, Ballpark Brawl III

Comic Pick O' Month: Casanova #3, Matt Fraction/Gabriel Ba's super 60's mashup, features an alternate universe bad guy working as a double-agent for the world's biggest spy organization. It's fun.

You were here for a reason

Glenn Ford passed away on Wednesday. I didn't see many of his movies, but I always loved him as Clark Kent's father in the original SUPERMAN movie.